Prelude to Ear Tubes

Tonight, you stayed up late. You were a night owl, which is one of your many favorite animals. “Hoo hoo”, as you’d now say if you could read.

You stayed up late because you’re getting ear tubes tomorrow. It’s one of the most common procedures a baby or toddler can have. It requires 2 minutes of anesthesia and 15 minutes in total, we’re told. Recovery is less than a day, they say. You’ll be fine, I hear.

Fasting is required from midnight on. When we wake you up in the wee hours of the morning, we’ll keep you in your pajamas, stick you in the car, and make a long journey up the Tollway to the surgery center. You’ll probably sleep the whole way. You probably won’t notice you haven’t had your milk and fruit until you’re in the fluorescent-soaked, white-walled waiting room freezing your buns off. You probably won’t care because of all the new sights and sounds surrounding you as you soak it all in.

These ear tubes are to help your ears drain properly. It all sounds like voodoo to your dad, but apparently it’s pretty legitimate. Parent after parent has reassured us that it’s the right call, that you’ll be less sick from school, hear better, and recover quickly. Sounds easy enough.

There’s a part of dad that is scared. There are no guarantees in surgery. No promises. So until you’re home tomorrow and you’re back to your normal self, I’ll be apprehensive about this procedure. Probably just one of many times that I’ll be an overprotective dad.

Speaking of overprotective, I’m sorry about 14 years from now when your first date comes to the door and your dad is conveniently cleaning one of his many guns as he relentlessly questions the poor boy. 

Don’t think of it as me being overbearing. Think of it as me training this young man to be just that. A man.

Plus, all dads live for the day when we can intimidate “the date”. So just go with it. Love you.


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